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Men are like dogs. We’re excited to see you and have no clue what you’re mad about.
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD I`d have 27 dollars and 15 cents.
According to these court documents, the way to a woman`s heart isn`t through her bedroom window.
I wish there was more BitStrips and photos of giraffes on my Facebook
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
Apparently, when people say "I could use a hand" it doesn`t mean they want to get slapped in the face.
1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2.
People are making Rapture jokes like there`s no tomorrow.....
I`m sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don`t really get the metric system. How much exactly is "in moderation"?
I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid.
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
roses are red.... my name is dave...this poem makes no sense.... microwave...