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I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
If I were a cashier I`d pretend people were waiting in line to kiss me.
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead, but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.
I have a life, I have the best life in the world. Oh wait sitting around watching Netflix and eating pizza rolls isn`t a life. I guess i was wrong then. :( bummer
Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
It`s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you’re nuts.
What happened to all the Sour Patch parents?
Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?
Do the other settings on the washer actually do anything?
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
Do homeless people get Knock Knock Jokes?
I`m starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I`ll never ever use one again. I`m so excited about it. Yes.
Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.