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I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
I told my psychiatrist that I`ve been hearing voices. He told me that I don`t have a psychiatrist.
SPOILER ALERT: Rice cakes do not contain any actual cake.
The Home Alone house is up for sale for 2.4 mil. I’d pay 2.5 (if I had it) just so I could say, “Keep the change you filthy animal.”
At what point in potty training do you give the child a toy smartphone?
This day needs more tomfoolery!
Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like facebook in real life.
I’ve been reading a lot about how to live and eat healthier and then not doing anything with that information.
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
"I`ve never seen an angry stoner, see angry drunks all the time!" Clearly you`ve never tried to take a stoner`s nachos away.
I finally stopped caring what other people think ... I hope everyone`s ok with that.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the entire thing.
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.