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If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
When`s it gonna be the 4th of July? I feel like blowin somethin` up and not gettin` arrested.
Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet ... I get hungry.
It may not look like it, but I`m actually very handsome.
R2-D2 from Star Wars, still holds the record for most curse words in a movie.
Law enforcement`s cracking down on texting while driving, but there`s no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof.
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
You`d think he`d be better at this with all the porn he watches
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to .... unless your in prison!!!
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.