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I put the pro in inappropriate.
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
Do you want to know Victoria`s Secret? Their lingerie doesn`t look the same on your girlfriend as it does on their models..
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
I just dusted and mopped the house like 3 months ago and it’s dirty again. This is bullsh!t.
I was getting really depressed today but then I realized double cheeseburgers exist
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
I`m curious: Do girls shake the gasoline nozzle when they`re taking it out of their cars too?
I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something.
A man made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind ... And now, we wait...
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
When I see a girl with too much makeup, I just want to use my finger to write "Wash Me" on her face.
A girl phoned me the other day and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.
My wife accused me of spending too much time on Facebook. That’s funny, when did I get a wife?
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.