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“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
How old were you when you found out your parents were using Santa Claus as a behavior-modification tool?
By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I`ve likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
I don’t want to go to work. There are people there.
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
your status deserves a standing ovation but I`m lazy I`ll just click `like`
I`ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn`t need my assistance, so I`m going back to bed.
If it wasn`t for physics and law enforcement, I`d be unstoppable.
You may think I`m a loser, but to my goldfish, I`m the god of flakes.
Peace on earth would be nice, but not gaining 20 pounds over the holidays would be a Christmas miracle.
Ok a$$hole, just go around me. I`m already doing 30 over the limit, I`m not speeding up. Stupid car with your stupid flashing lights
Don`t judge a person for drinking; judge a person for not drinking. Those f*ckers are up to something.
I have nothing to update. I`m just making it look like I`m doing something at a party so people won`t talk to me.