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I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
Just when you think you have the answer a woman will be there to change the question.
I love Alfredo sauce ... Unless you`re a dude named Alfredo.
My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night.
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
I`ve grown up a lot recently. For example, I used to drink beer all day and now I drink wine.
Am I supposed to bring condoms to a speed dating event? How fast do these things actually go?
With great power comes great electricity bill.
I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
I can see your camouflage pants, so they`re not working.
After socializing and being nice to people all day it`s nice to sit down, drink by myself, and be an a$$hole on the Internet.