Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
sorry but your password must contain an "uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin"
Live life to its fullest even if that means eating everything in the fridge
I`m going to go take a hot shower, it`s like a normal shower but with me in it
Let`s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
It`s not that people use only 10% of their brains, it`s that only 10% of people use their brains.
If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, I’ll be there.
I wish I had a job where I could punch stupid motherf*ckers in the face all day.
7 billion people on this planet and I can`t find one who doesn`t annoy the f*ck out of me.
I`ve been sober 136 days. Not in a row, but still...
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
Studies show it’s totally okay for me to just say β€œstudies show” in front of whatever I want to say.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said "too ugly to prostitute."