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How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
Reality is for those who can`t handle alcohol
This is the earliest I have ever been late.
A cool thing about being in a relationship is that when you make a mistake you get to hear about it over and over.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
My coworkers and I do this fun thing where they say `It`s so cold out!` and I say `It`s winter` and then we silently hate each other.
I really respect people that don`t drink excessively, gamble, curse, do drugs, spend excessively, act irresponsibly and stay up late. And by "respect" I mean "don`t wanna hang out with"
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
Golf ball sized hail wouldn`t be as destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller.
Sometimes when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.
You can not force anyone to love you ... The best you can do is stalk them and hope they give in :)
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.