Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My need for caffeine is so bad I`m going to AA for the free coffee
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering every question!!!
I noticed you`re not yourself today. I really like it.
No matter how much you push the envelope - it`ll still be stationery.
The art of taking a self pic fast enough that no one sees you. The Stealthfie.
Judging from my last 5 relationships I am convinced my heart is trying to kill me
"Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?" -chickens
Do the other settings on the washer actually do anything?
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don`t want to look like a dork.
If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.
If the liquor store didn`t want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window.
Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.