Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ever had sex while camping!? It`s intents!
If I won the lottery, I don`t think I would change much. I`d still be the same asshole, just one in a helicopter.
Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point.
I`m as nutty as a squirell fart
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
When God closes a door, it usually has my fingers in it.
How long do I have to sleep before I`m legally a bear?
"I`m only having one" ...said by many, practiced by none.
I was told today to look at my life from a different perspective. I`m lying on the floor now and the shit still looks f*cked up.
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
If I could turn snarky sarcasm into a paying job, I could be employed for infinity.
My 5yr old learned how to whistle if anyone’s looking for a new 5yr old.
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.