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People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
Attempting to guilt me in to doing something, is the surest way to make sure it never happens.
I`m glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It`s really come in handy this parallelogram season.
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
After 20 yrs of marriage, my best move is to clean something unexpectedly.
I wish we had staff meetings in the garden. The plants would`ve love the fertilizer.
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
My brain is about as well organized as the Walmart $5 dvd bin.
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
If you`re not employed by the Secret Service, there is absolutely no reason to have a Bluetooth on your ear.
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?
Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion.
During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.
Dear whoever ate my fries while i was in the ball pit at McDonald`s... grow up!!