Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Diet goal: I want to lose just enough so that my hand will fit comfortably in a Pringles can...
Sometimes, I wish I could fast forward the time just to see if in the end it`s all worth it.
Weird how “news” and “fact checking” are treated like two separate concepts these days.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
Just changed my wireless network name in my apartment to "I can hear you having sex through the ceiling and it sounds mediocre."
So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?
There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
Silence is Golden, unless you`re married.. Then Silence is Suspicious.
dude i wasent tht drunk you were huging a peice of chese saying ill never let u go sponge bob
What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
I get very competitive at "All You Can Eat Buffets."
The reason why women will never be the ones to propose is because as soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants
Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance.
Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...