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You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.
I found $40 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy dart guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, dart guns and candy".
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
Some of my best memories are naps.
1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2.
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
The little piggy who went to market... wasn`t going shopping. Wrap your mind around that for a moment.
There`s only one kind of exercise I know and its the beer run.
I don’t call it laying down anymore, I call it landscape mode.
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
Just saw the previews for the movie Taken 3, you would think by now he would`ve gave his daughter self-defense and gun lessons?