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Ever notice how the automatic flush sensors in public restrooms kinda look like hidden cameras?
Who`s up for some curling in my driveway?
It`s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
Roses are red! violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Snot.
The last time I touched a breast, it was in a KFC bucket.
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you’ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
Don`t get into a relationship with someone unless they love you as much as Kim Kardashian loves Kim Kardashian.
It’s not a nap unless your face wakes up in a puddle of your own drool.
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.