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Apparently I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
Why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let this stupidity problem solve itself?
Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
"I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"-Me, every time I drink
It`s weird how in England the passenger drives the car
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
I’m not getting old. I’m becoming a classic.
Please, please don`t be a bitch to me. Because then I`ll have to be a bitch back and I can do it better than you.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.
As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost.
Parts of my body are turning 50 Shades of Gray
Thanksgiving: "Let`s give thanks for the stuff we have." Black Friday: "Ok, let`s get all new stuff."
Elevators are so stupid. They have a button for the floor I`m already on.
I`ve often wondered: Who the heck is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?
I think germs are so nice for waiting 5 seconds before attacking food that falls on the floor.