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The worst part about looking for a job is if you`re successful, you end up with a job.
Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
You can`t lick any part of your reflection except your tongue.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi
Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I am married to her doesn`t mean I have to like her, right?
I`m as conflicted as a strip club addict with a glitter allergy.
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain a lot of things......a LOT of things.
Without the sanctity of marriage there wouldn`t be job security for divorce attorneys and marriage counselors.
I could write an entire book on excuses... but I have to drop my dog off at the airport.
I paid attention to the construction signs and got in the correct lane. You ignored them for miles and now you want me to let you in. Not gonna happen.
Seriously, You accidentally catch six kitchen towels on fire and all of a sudden you can`t go in the kitchen alone anymore.
I`m not saying your cat doesn`t care about you, I`m saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well.
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.