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Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
Hey dude who flipped me off in the Subway parking lot for honking at you, you left your dinner on top of your car.
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
Accidentally took a women`s multi vitamin & I`ve been trying to get dressed for the past 3 hours, but everything is making me look fat.
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
You`re exceeding the limits of my medication. Please go away.
Caterpillars have it made. They eat a lot, go to sleep, then wake up beautiful.
I can`t be the only one who thinks "Game on, mother f*cker" when I see an air freshner in a bathroom.
I hate it when people hate me without even giving me a chance to give them a good reason to.
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
I went to the missing persons` beurau. No one was there.
Cookies and porn are always better when they`re homemade!
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
Played hide and seek today. I was winning until the cops let the K9 off of the leash.
If you don`t do stupid sh!t while you`re young, you`ll have nothing to talk about later in life while sitting at the bar.