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Some people just need sympathetic pat.........on the head........with a hammer
My wife was afraid of the dark......then she saw me naked.........now she is afraid of the light.
Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. A broken heart makes you wiser. And alcohol makes you not remember any of that sh!t.
You are here: X
I hate when people see me at the store and are like "Hey, what are you doing?" I`m like "Oh you know, hunting elephants."
Why am I not allowed to post anything on here?
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
I`ve been working on losing weight, I was doing Jenny Craig for awhile........till her husband found out (<>..<>)
Testing shows that people in the USA know less about geography than England, Japan and like 100 other countries I`ve never heard of.
The fact that you don’t find me amazing doesn’t bother me at all, it just confirms what I have suspected all along; that you have bad taste.
My mind is telling me nooo... But my body... My body`s telling me yesss...BABY. Cashier: Sir...would you like fries with that or not?
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them