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Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will only be jingling "part" of the way this year, as usual ur patience is appreciated.
I`m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I`m sure it has Rabies.
All things being considered......half of your friends are below average.
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m a person.
"Baby on Board" Oh really? Thanks for letting me know. I was about to ram into your car but now I won`t.
Fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner`s high..... I just have to bend over and tie my shoes.
I was so angry when I found my wife’s profile on a dating website. That lying b!tch isn’t “fun to be around.”
I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
It`s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
I think my other three stove burners are becoming jealous of front-right.
Procrastination: when "make a bucket list" is on your bucket list.
I guess I`m somewhat of a big deal, when I tell people about my accomplishments, they always say, "Big deal."
Next on SportsCenter: Where is Tim Tebow watching the Super Bowl and how will that impact the game?
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. And the good news is, that`s pretty much everything.