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!that embarrasing moment when you fake a call then a real one comes...!lol.
I`m more confused than a homeless person on house arrest.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
So it`s racist to call a team Redskins but it`s okay to call a restaurant Cracker Barrel ?
I think I’m allergic to mornings.
Last year I won a $50 gift card to Chili`s at a Christmas raffle. ...... This year I`ve decided my Secret Santa gift is going to be a $14.37 gift card to Chili`s.
Don`t know what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, give it to him naked. Problem solved
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
Step aside coffee, this job is going to take hard liquor.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
There’s no worse feeling than realizing your wife has fallen asleep & you’ve spent the last 20 minutes watching Real Housewives by yourself.
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
Never run after a man or a bus, there is always another one coming.
For many people, "live and learn" is one task too many.