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Women need a tattoo that somehow signals their menstrual cycle ... * A Cramp Stamp
Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
I bought a blowup doll today, but I won`t blow her up until tomorrow. I don`t want to seem desperate.
My internet went down for about 5 minutes earlier....so I talked to my family.....they seem like nice people!
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
It`s weird how we are all here because of boners
The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car.
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: ...
If you`re happy and you know it, thank your ex.
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a beer while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care..
Creating a password in this day and age After the 9th try OKNowI`mReallyMad50BoiledCabbagesUpYourArseIfYouDon`tGiveMeAccessImmediately! `Sorry, that password is already in use`
I`m just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner
More people should be at a loss for words.
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.
I’ve yet to be intimidated by a fancy wine list thanks to my vast knowledge of fine wines and my eeny, meeny, miny, moe system.