Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’ve made some mistakes I wish I could make again.
If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
My hair only looks good on days when no one important sees it.
I’m always frank with my sexual partners. Don’t want them knowing my real name.
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
just realised SATURDAY has the word TURD in it
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.
Know your customer. Think like an idiot.
Somewhere out there is a guy named Joe whose greatest achievement is that he was a really sloppy eater.
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)
If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got "YOLO" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly
Babies dont have parents, they have staff.