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The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing.
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
If I treated others how I wanted to be treated, I`d be doing a ton of spontaneous sexual favors for random strangers.
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
ME- I love it when you lay me down like that, the way you touch my belly and put cold things on me baby DOCTOR- Miss this is a medical examination and you are making me extremely uncomfortable
Please, please don`t be a bitch to me. Because then I`ll have to be a bitch back and I can do it better than you.
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Life is funnier when you have a dirty mind. ;)
Dishes are like boyfriends. My roommate should really stop doing mine
My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves.
Neighbors at it again. I do NOT want to know the words to "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus!
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?
What do women want? The opposite of whatever they have.