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You never really know how many inches you`re gonna get or how long it`ll last. Snow, maybe.
The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water. The beauty of the workplace is that water bottles are allowed.
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Me: Why? What`ve you got?
I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone! :O
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he`s gonna get to wear it.
You know what`s beautiful? Read the first word again.
I was only 6 numbers away from winning the powerball.
If you love someone, let them go, if they don`t come back..... Set them on fire *evil grin*
At what age is it appropriate to tell my friends that they`re imaginary?
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
Merry Christmas week! The time when it’s totally fine to put Peppermint Schnapps in your coffee every morning!
I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...