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I wish I budgeted with my whole paycheck as well as I do with the last fifty bucks of it.
I`ve noticed more and more little kids with cell phones and social networks. What does a kindergartner have to tweet about? "I`m getting better at drawing in the lines!" #cantwaitforstorytime
Never confuse the words "venom" and "poison". Venom is injected into blood by an animal. Poison is injected into food by a woman.
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes.
You never realize what you have till its gone... Toilet paper is a good example.
Hey you know what will go good with all that beer you just drank? Social media and a camera phone!
My face is a 4, my personality is a 6, so basically, I`m a 10.
If you want to get me to do something, bribery does work.
I’d be much more interested in meeting people if I didn’t think most people were idiots.
Please respect the revolving door speed that has already been established.
My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again.
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
I don`t think stupid people understand how much effort goes into not punching them in the face
Don`t Follow Me, I`m Lost Too