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When you have a lot, you have hair. When you only have a few, you have hairs.
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept
Some things make you go hmm. Some things make you go ugh! I make you go "Did he really just say that?"
I hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we haven`t thought about in a while ... demons."
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you, would actually kill me
The next person that tells me I have no shame…probably knows me pretty darn well.
The hardest thing about my juice cleanse is trying to juice Snickers
The world would be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes...
All cookies are "bite size" if you believe in yourself enough.
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."