Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sorry I`m late, the floor was lava
I love hearing rumors about me...that`s how I find out what I`ve been doing.
There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
Remember, condoms prevent minivans.
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
I probably shouldn’t have driven home from the bar last night ... Especially as I walked there in the first place.
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
Driving isn’t even in the top 5 things I’m thinking about when I’m driving.
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”
After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.
Tequila, because sometimes you and your toilet need to hug it out.
They say children are a gift from god. I`m totally wide-open to regifting.