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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy sh!t.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it takes up a lot more hard drive space.
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
My neighbors don`t appreciate it when I skip along the property line, singing "This Land is My Land."
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?
Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with... How did 2 sticks win out!?
if drinking destroys your memory .... what does drinking do ?
I’m not saying I need to manscape, but when I get an erection it looks like Pinocchio has joined the Taliban.