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America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
Have we even tried giving Mother Nature a Snickers?
"I have to go eat cake now", should be a perfectly valid reason for leaving a social occasion where cake has not been provided.
A hard thing about business is minding your own
Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You`re welcome
Am I the only one that always puts my wallet back into my pocket before getting my change back?
Where there`s a will I want to be in it
If you`re gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, "It`s not working. I cant take it anymore, I`m going to moms" I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold, WTF is she talking about?
At the urinal, please keep your eyes forward and your conversations limited to weather, sports or beer.
I read Facebook for the pictures.
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you`re innocent".
I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of crazy.
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong