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If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
No one knows what women really want, but everyone agrees it still won`t be enough.
If my job was to make health questionnaires, I`d slip in random stuff like "How fast can you run backwards?"
Life is full of disappointments, I`ll just add you to the list.
Aren`t they Middle-Age Mutant Ninja Turtles now?
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice.
If you’re having second thoughts, you’re two ahead of most people.
I`d rather run a marathon than listen to someone talk about running a marathon.
Life advice: Enjoy the f*ck out of it. It`s that simple.
Is it bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening?
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.