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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
Perhaps we should hold elections on the last Friday of November, with polling stations at Walmart, Target and Apple
I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel... It was 3 weeks from tomorrow.
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
Well I just finished up some spring cleaning. Holy crap, owning a Slinky can be such a hassle.
My neighbors listen to some amazing music… whether they like it or not. ;)
I get in this weird mood where I don’t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood ‘Awake’
I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
I don’t care how loud I’m laughing, I’m having fun and you’re not.
Boobs are to men what light bulbs are to moths.
Twerking is the crocs of dancing.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
The point of no return sounds like a fun vacation spot.
I`m awesome ... Don`t question it, just deal with it.