Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
Nothing like a brisk morning jog to start the day! Just kidding! I don`t do that.
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 10% of battery remaining.
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
If you really want to know how she feels about you, get her drunk & then piss her off.
I’m not implying you’re stupid. I’m saying it outright. Here, I wrote it in crayon to help you understand.
I hope when I die Charlie Sheen`s life flashes before my eyes.
You know that greener grass you see over there? You do realize it`s because they fertilize it with bullsh!t right?
status uploading