Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s annoying when Netflix keeps stopping to buffer. Stupid neighbors just won’t upgrade their WiFi.
I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can’t these days. My phone battery just doesn’t have the stamina any more.
Shout out to all the kids who could never find their name on souvenir keychains and license plates. That sh!t hurt.
My roommate is on a date and said he`s convinced she`s coming home with him tonight. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters. Now we wait.
It`s like my kids don`t even believe how cool I was in the 80s.
Do you ever just get a random burst of motivation to clean your house, write a novel, paint a masterpiece or read a book ... Yeah, me neither.
I got drunk last night and my house wasn`t where I left it.
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
Over 500 channels and not a DAMN THING to watch! I suppose I should subscribe to some of them...
why would anyone want a baby? It`s just another thing you have to clean
Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
Fun Game: Walk down a hallway with both arms outstretched to the walls while shouting, "Hug me or turn around!!!"
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..
Facebook is perfect for those people that have never been very good at waiting for their turn to speak.
Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?" but they don`t stop long enough for you to reply!