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McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
It`s friday!! I smell vodka ;)
I think you and I both know that you`re not facebook friends with me for the funny statuses.
I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something.
Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
Anyone who wastes my time is a clocksucker.
Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation.
Never squat with your spurs on
My dog just saved my life by ferociously barking at nothing outside.
This is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FridaySaturdaySunday.
At night I dump massive amounts of Legos on the floor in case anyone tries to rob my house bare footed.
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
I`m super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I`m also wearing a cape.
Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-