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Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere.
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
What if in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscarβ¦and the actor who played him got an Oscar.
It`s a beautiful day. I think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit
I wish they made bar-stools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
Good news: I learned how to build a fire. Bad news: I need a new toaster oven.
Some people are good listeners. Mostly, though, they`re just nodding and thinking about bacon.
If by "crunches" you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then yes, I do crunches.
person 1: i can draw really well person 2: i`m really athletic person 3: i`m hilarious and likable person 4: i`m gorgeous me: i can breathe
roses are red.... my name is dave...this poem makes no sense.... microwave...
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!
My mum`s so old fashioned she thinks LOL = Lots of love. She sent me an SMS saying just to let you know you`re Pa`s in hospital LOL.