Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.
"Hey! Aren`t you that guy from the village people?" - Me, to every cop who pulls me over
Pro tip: The kids run around a little longer if you forget to hide the eggs
Rawwrrr means I love you in dinosaur. Everyone knows that, silly
It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, "I`m not crazy!" and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
Buying a smart car seems like a good idea until you hit a squirrel and flip over a few times.
Things that don`t kill spiders: 1: furniture polish 2: Febreze 3: butter 4: screaming
There is nothing more terrifying than sneezing while driving.
If it wasn`t for physics and law enforcement, I`d be unstoppable.
DO NOT expect a "Bless You" after your 3rd sneeze. Get that sh!t under control.
Beer never asks me if I think another beer is prettier than it.
If you like to spoon, you`ll love to spatula. That`s where I flip you over to make certain you`re done properly on both sides.