Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some people look for a perfect relationship, but all I want is a cheeseburger that looks like the ones on commercials!
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
my 2012 new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
I thought I was losing weight, but it turned out my sweatpants had come untied.
I like it here because not only do I get to air out my dirty laundry, I get to see yours too.
Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I’m starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
People who say "Don`t mix drugs with alcohol"" ... they`re stupid, right?
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside!
"I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
Son, you don`t get anything in life without trying hard and working for it. Now be quiet, there about to announce the lottery results...
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
According to the customer service, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ.
I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on.
Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk.