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I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.
You know it`s a good night when you wake up with gum in your bellybutton.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a regular pigeon.
Has anybody tried unplugging Congress and then plugging it back in?
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
God is creative... I mean look at me??
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
Let`s share...you take the grenade and I`ll take the pin.
Why be full of hate when you can be full of pizza?
Whenever you hear the phrase "Oh no he didn`t" you can rest assured that he did.
Never hire an Electrician with no eyebrows
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
I know the light has changed twice people but I`m playing air drums until Moby Dick is over...sit back and enjoy the show please...
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial