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My boss hates "yes" men and I have to agree with him.
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
Mission Impossible: Ordering something at Subway without saying, "ummmm".
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
I`m a multi-taking procrastinator. I can put off all kinds of things all at once.
There’s no worse feeling than realizing your wife has fallen asleep & you’ve spent the last 20 minutes watching Real Housewives by yourself.
Every-time I walk over a sewer grate I look down into it hoping to catch a glimpse of a Ninja Turtle
Darn right I’m good in bed. ...I can sleep for days.
Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated badly had it coming.
I`ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
I was going to buy my first pair of Jordans.. Until I saw the price.. So I decided to make a car payment instead!
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!:D
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.
Leave a comment if you`ve started drinking. Hit the `Like` button if you`re already sh!tfaced. *Cheers*