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Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
If you blow out the kid`s Birthday candles at enough parties, people will just stop inviting you to them.
In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
Unless its inappropriately, don`t f*cking touch me.
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?
In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
If you can’t love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot.
LOQ "Laugh Out Quietly" because LOL is giving me a headache
30 seconds left on the microwave ~ Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone ~ Men: do the space shuttle countdown
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....
Some people come into your life as blessings, others come into your life as lessons.