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I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
You poor thing. You don`t even realize you`re batsh!t crazy, do you?
A person who is bad at math should never take a calculated risk.
"Let`s give the bad guy a ponytail." - 80s movies
Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me.
I sometimes ask myself, "What would Jesus do?", and then I think, Jesus wouldn`t be caught up in this sh*t.
Saying that your company has been in business since the 1800`s isn`t a selling point. Slavery existed then too...
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
sex is like a joke, some get it some don`t.....
I finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying sound in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out!!
I`ve noticed that the squirrels are gathering nuts for the winter. Couple of my friends are missing...
People are obsessed with this storm but in a couple months no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno.
People who get offended on the internet are the same people who take mini golf seriously.
Note to self: stop buying stuff on Ebay when drunk. Anyone need a zamboni?
Black holes must be where God divided by zero.