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It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
I woke up this morning with a glass of water on my bedside table with a note saying “for hungover me” I drank it and it was vodka. Drunk me can be such an asshole!
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
You know it`s way past your bed time when the 1-800-dial-a-hoe commercials come on.
I`m for driverless cars, but honestly, having to drive is the only thing standing in the way of me being a complete drunk piece of sh!t 24/7
If I learned anything from my children, it`s that it is always OK to do something stupid, as long as someone DARED you to do it.
The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
Good for you, people that do things.
?"Cheating" is such a strong word. I rather call it "talent scouting".
If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."
My flock of sheep were stolen from my farm last month. I`ve not been able to sleep since.
"Always leave them wanting more" is my new mantra when paying bills.
You can’t please everyone, so you might as well just concentrate on me.