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I’m the kind of girl that would eat Doritos on her wedding day & accidentally wipe her hands on her dress.
I neither like nor want to date Taylor Swift, but I know at some point it’ll just be my turn.
Guys, Everyone. Listen. I`m going to say two words that will change your lives. Pizza Tacos. I know. Just breath.
"what doesnt kill u makes u smaller" -mario Lol
I would of never even thought of touching half the things that I`ve touched, if it weren`t for the "Do not touch" signs!
You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it`s acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch.
Asking a guy, "Are you done with that?" & pointing to his girlfriend, is frowned upon. Apparently.
Hey Guys! I havent seen you since last year!(;
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
Traffic would be awesome if we all drove hamster balls.
My bf just got out of jail. Says life in jail for him was a big pain in the a$$
A wasp just landed on my balls. Hardest decision of my life.
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.
Next time you`re down in the dumps...pick me up a spare tire!