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Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
Diet goal: I want to lose just enough so that my hand will fit comfortably in a Pringles can...
Some of the nicest women you`ll meet on Facebook are men.
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?
there`s only 2 things in life you have control in changing that is your attitude and a kids diaper.. which at times both can be the equivalent of the other..
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
The phrase "Don`t take this the wrong way." has a zero percent success rate.
I am deleting my twitter right now! Not to seem paranoid but I think people are following me!
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
Nothing says “friend zone” quite like a woman saying “you’re like a brother to me.” Unless you’re from Alabama.
Don`t judge a person for drinking; judge a person for not drinking. Those f*ckers are up to something.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It`s true... The less I see of someone, the more I like them!
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?