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If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
If your house doesn`t have house numbers on it, you need to address that situation.
people say i talk in my sleeep , but no one at work seems to notice
Holding my breath until someone likes this status.
How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
Sorry, I was not paying attention. I was thinking about having sex with you.
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
What`s wrong with having your mind in the gutter all the time?! If it weren`t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless!!!
FACT: There’s always room for another cupcake.
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well
One man`s LOL is another man`s WTF
I thought I cracked this "adulthood" till I realised my shirt was on inside out !!!!!