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I put the pro in inappropriate.
If it`s true that we are here on earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Nothing ruins a perfectly good mood like reality.
Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
Some of my best memories are naps.
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It`s not like a murderer will come in thinking "I`m gonna ki..- ahh damn! He`s under a blanket
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
Apparently you can not demand to be strip searched.
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
People say laughter is the best medicine, but I’d like to think a beer is the way to go.
Porn & love songs. Destroying reality forever.
You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.
I didn’t sell my soul to the devil….we worked out a rent-to-own deal.
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."