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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
off to bed...evil schemes don`t dream themselves up.
Neighbor just yelled at me for playing in his sprinkler. Note to self, I should wear clothes next time.
Why is it that everyone you hate has such a better job than you?
I`m really good at acting like I`m sorry the elevator door is closing and you missed it.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
You`ve been on more hotel pillows then chocolate mints.
That moment when you wake up at 2 o`clock a.m and remember how crappy that after earth movie was and you go back to sleep immediately
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer !
I just bought all six seasons of Hoarders on DVD
If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they`d shoot her out of the sky with a drone.
24 hours in a day.. 24 beers in a case.. coincidence?
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: "Why am I talking to myself?"
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
Serving sarcasm with a smile since 1984.