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Karaoke bars combine two of the world’s great evils: People who shouldn’t drink and people who shouldn’t sing.
They updated the Raggedy Ann doll to Swaggedy Ann. She comes with an iPhone, divorced parents, and 3 pairs of heelys.
My death bed confession is going to be epic!
Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
Chasing your dreams is hard... especially when that damn alarm keeps going off
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
Apparently there is no age limit on ignorance.
Office thermostats only have 2 settings: hell fire and hypothermia.
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
"Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this."--MC Hammer giving a Museum tour
Single, means never having to say you`re sorry.
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it`s fixed and finally cool, you leave.