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A wise man once said nothing.
On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
Sometimes, I wish I could fast forward the time just to see if in the end it`s all worth it.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
I was going to get a lot of stuff done tonight, but I didn`t. Because, you know...beer.
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
2015 and still no thieves interested in my identity.
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
"I don`t trust you to not buy drugs" -people who give gift cards
There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people
I didn`t mean to offend you, that was just a bonus.
Don`t call me names, you don`t know enough words to describe me
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.