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Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
Lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers.
There`s a special place in hell reserved for the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends.
I hate how my friends are always trying to convince me to do extreme activities. Like bungee jumping, skydiving or leaving the house.
If you don`t know me by now....I`m a really good stalker.
I hope all your dreams come true, especially that one where you`re being chased by a giant spider.
I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
Magic words that make my children disappear: 1) Bath time. 2) Who did this?!?! 3) When I was your age...
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem 99% demons.
Don`t just be one of those people who stares at their phone or computer twelve hours a day. It`s important to also watch some TV.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to "grow up," I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.
Doing donuts in the parking lot sounds fun. Eating donuts in the parking lot sounds better.