Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
Maybe I`m the good kind of fat like an avocado.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
I wish common sense was more common.
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
?"I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the "why aren`t you wearing pants" look."
When I drink alcohol.. everyone says I`m an alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. no one says I`m fantastic.
Walmart: the only place on Earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real life "what not to wear" episode.
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you`re better off staying home with no pants on.
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
I don`t have any skeletons in my closet because I bury my victims in the backyard!
My favorite thing to say to old people is, "When I was your age I didn`t believe in reincarnation either".
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…