Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I know you people are crazy. I can spot my own kind a mile away.
Snoring is just God`s way of ensuring women hate their husbands while they sleep too.
Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business" always be followed by, "but"?
Helpful Tip : Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you dig out your drivers license.
Alcohol is never the answer...unless, of course, you ask what I`ll be doing tonight.
Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
What makes fancy green beans fancy?
I`ve just seen an advert in my local newspaper. ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! $35,000 - $40,000 So I called them up and said, "The answer is -$5,000."
I almost talked my way out of a ticket today by telling a female cop she was very attractive, but things went sour when I said "and that`s not just the booze talking either".
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
I know 3 facts about you: 1.You can’t say ‘M’ without your lips touching. 2.You’re trying it now looking like an idiot. 3. Now you’re smiling
How do you make your wife scream during sex?? Call her and tell her about it.
I hope common sense is the next cool trend.
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.
STD`s aren`t like pokémon, your not suppose to catch`em all!