Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How did human beings express empathy before the phrase "that sucks" was coined?
I wonder if dogs ever wake up in the morning and think "dear god please don`t take me jogging with you today"?
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
I know there are some people we say were dropped on their heads as babies. But there are others that were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.
It’s pretty scary that before facebook… All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.
If tit for tat doesn`t mean flashing guys with tattoos, than I`ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
Whenever you hear the phrase "Oh no he didn`t" you can rest assured that he did.
Two can play that game...` -people who dont understand that`s how games usually work
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
Just tried to kill a snake in the backyard. And by kill I mean screaming as loudly as a human can in an attempt to make its head explode.
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can`t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?
Your secrets are safe with me! Odds are, I wasn’t even listening.