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I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
Call me crazy, but I don`t think I really need to be in this mental institution.
There are so many scams on the Internet now these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
I met this girl in a club last night, I think she’s a body builder. She just so happened to build hers using chips.
If video games have taught me anything, it`s that you`ll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss.
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
If the people in horror movies would just listen to me, they would still be alive!
Being stuck in the`` friend zone`` is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired.
Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn´t surprising really, since it isn´t my birthday.
Gently placing your finger on someone’s lips and saying, “Shh, not another word,” is super romantic but cops don’t seem to think so.
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.