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How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven`t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
This guy keeps asking me to help pet his neglected, one-eyed trouser snake. What a sweet guy! I think he`s a vet. Ladieeees! A doctor!!
Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5`9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please
All these people are talking about finding Jesus, finding love, finding themselves... I`m like I found 63 cents and four Fritos in the couch!
If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, "Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"
A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day.
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
When someone yells stop, I don`t know if it`s in the name of love, it`s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.
The hardest thing about my juice cleanse is trying to juice Snickers
Dear karma, I have a list of people you missed.