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Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
I`m never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
One day when I was at the beach there was a guy in the ocean yelling, "Shark! Help!" And I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn`t going to help him.
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
Damn…I’m having an out of money experience.
I went to see a psychiatrist today. He told me I had a split personality and charged me $160. I gave him $80, and told him to get the rest from the other a$$hole!
I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
If you work Security in a Samsung store does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
What`s the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you`ve fooled me, what`s behind that blur? Is it a monkey? A pencil?
Farts are like children. I`m proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
If you are the one who stole my computer yesterday, please disregard the folder labeled, "Nature photographs." Thanks.
Wow comma I just realized if I tap the microphone on my keyboard I don`t have to type out my statuses anymore exclamation point