Daily Silly Status

I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Free will is good, but free pizza is better.

I should be able to take a sick day if I am sick of the people I work with.

Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I might not pay for some of this.

Last night I had this awesome dream, where I fought this huge fat ninja and knocked him out with my super power punch. I`d tell you more but I have to take my wife to the doctor. She has this mysterious black eye.

This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.

I was about to do something awesome, again, but I told myself “Enough is enough, that’s plenty of awesome for one day”

When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.

I`d publish my autobiography but it`s just a bunch of liquor stained pages filled with doodles, and rants about stupid people.

Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.

Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.

Now tell me how old your baby is in hours.

I`ll admit I`m not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?

Next on SportsCenter: Where is Tim Tebow watching the Super Bowl and how will that impact the game?